Sunday, July 12, 2009

POTPOURRI!!!


WELL, HERE GOES. MY FIRST REAL POST ON NETFLIX QUICK PIX!!!

GLEN FORD and the fabulous GLORIA GRAHAME star in THE BIG HEAT. Wow. If you want hard boiled cop and hard boiled moll, you got it in this one. Ford is Police Sargent Bannion, investigating a the suicide of a fellow cop. But somehow, he knows something STINKS. What are the Police Chief's connection to organized crime, including cold-blooded henchman Vince Stone (Lee Marvin) and his goil, bejeweled glamour gal Debby (Grahame). Debby sets her sights on Bannion, Stone disfigures her lovely face, and in revenge, Debby tells all. Ford is as Ford does. A very sevicable actor. Marvin is great when he's pissed, and Grahame is probably on of the finest molls ever. Tragically, she died at 57, after being diagnosed with stomach cancer, which she disbelieved. Talk about DENIAL. She collapsed while rehearsing a play in London. Also in cast: Jocelyn Brando (yeah, Marlon's sister) and a fleeting glimpse of Caroline Jones. Not quite Noir, but Noiresque.

WILDE stars really homely actor STEPHEN FRY as really homely homo OSCAR WILDE. Wilde, famed for his witty plays, and, well, wit in suppressed Victorian England. But he got away with fey. I mean, have you ever met a Brit that couldn't be buggered? JUDE LAW is the lovely Lord Alfred Douglas, who becomes Wilde's downfall. From a nutzo family, "Bosie" didn't understand discretion, and his whacked out father The Marquess of Queensberry (a VERY effective Tom Wilkinson) has a hard on for Wilde. A big one. Ultimately Oscar went to prison, and came back a broken man. Vanessa Redgrave is wonderful as Oscar's WILD, artistic mum. Can you say BOHEMIAN?! Fry is perfectly cast. You know the story. You remember the plays and bon mots, but it's still a blast to watch.

Speaking of trash: CONNIE STEVENS stars in SUSAN SLADE. Never much of an actress, Steven and her horrid hair get involved with a wealthy mountain climber (fetching Grant Nobody) on a ship, and he knocks her up! Egad! The only thing to do is rush off to South America, only to return with a baby that mother DOROTHY MCGUIRE swears is her own. But when the baby catches fire, Stevens fesses up, losing the love of Burt Convey and his mother NATALIE SHAFFER, playing the same role she always does. But poor writer TROY DONOHUE (WRITER?!) doesn't care, and all ends in the way it should. Delmer Daves directed this Technicolor schlock, and there's so much Vaseline on the lens, you can barely see a thing. Stevens, who resembles perky Debbie Reynolds, ironically went on to marry Reynold's ex, the deplorable guy who ditched her to make it with Liz Taylor, only to lose her to Richard Burton. Sometimes real life is better than reel life.

Spike Lee directs the epic documentary WHEN THE LEVEES BROKE, chronicling the before and aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. This film is heart breaking, thought provoking, and infuriating because after all these years, you KNOW New Orleans is a mess. FEMA spends 7million to build WAREHOUSES?! Where are the homes? Families displaced, and the levees still in rubble. Then there's good old BUSH II, flying over head surveying the damage in his big RV of the sky. This film is compelling. Kudos to Lee for making this. It's brilliant.

RICH AND FAMOUS is not brilliant. CANDICE BERGEN and JACQUELINE BISSET star in this George Cukor directed disaster. Bisset can seemingly act, but BERGEN! She's simply awful. Her put on Southern Accent is deplorable, and, to be perfectly frank, she is ugly as hell. Like a really rigid Barbie. Her look is icy. Thank goodness she made a name for herself years later, when all those hard angles that make up her face softened in that TV show that was so popular. Meg Ryan co-stars as Murphy's (err, Bergen's) daughter. Standard hunks of the early '80s show up, including Hart Bochner and Matt Latanzie. Sadly, this was Cukor's swan song, but his talent for directing is clearly diminished by fossilism. And a horrid script based on the Bette Davis film, OLD ACQUAINTANCE. See the original, and ditch this bitch.

A gem from Down Under, KENNY. SHAYNE JACOBSON plays a "porta-loo" delivery man. Oh, there's plenty o'poo jokes and the like, but Jacobson shines. He's a bloke with heart. Just like a big kid. His wonderful scenes in Nashville (which hosts a poo party yearly) show Kenny as the innocent he is. This mockumentary was hugely poopular in Australia, and considering it's teeny budget, you come out with a smile on your face. Which is quite something for ME to say.

TIM CURRY stars in WILL SHAKESPEARE. This BBC mini-series follows Will around as a young, undiscovered writer. If you can get through all the "thees, thous and thines" you'll find it interesting. If not, leave it out of you queue.
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