NETFLIX QUICK PIX!!!

IT'S ROZ IN HER BIG TV DEBUT OF WONDERFUL TOWN!!!

2009-12-24T01:33:00.000-08:00

WELL, if you can get off your Fancy Fones for a second, you will see a Master Comedienne at work.

Watch!!!

2009-12-23T12:15:00.000-08:00

EVERYTHING TODAY IS THOROUGLY MODERN!!!

2009-10-11T02:31:00.000-07:00

HOW PHAT!!!

2009-10-01T00:20:00.000-07:00

DR ELIZABETH BERNSTIEN.

HAM HOCKS AND ALL.

SHE CAME, AGAIN.

SHE WAS ASKED TO LEAVE.

WE HATE HER.

DON'T EVEN BOTHER WITH HER.

SHE'S TOXIC.

JUDY! JUDY!! JUDY!!!

2009-09-20T13:06:00.000-07:00

IT'S JUDY!!!

AND IT BREAKS YOUR HEART....

JUDY! JUDY!! JUDY!!!

2009-09-10T16:33:00.000-07:00

LISTEN ALL YOU LOGO LOVING FANS.....HERE'S WHY OLD SCHOOL HOMOS LOVE JUDY!!!

THINK PINK!!!!

2009-09-07T15:30:00.000-07:00

FROM FUNNY FACE!!!

Watch the STAH! Kaye Thompson as she drags it up!!!

POTPOURRI!!!

2009-09-05T14:53:00.000-07:00

Love those LOOOOONG drawn out BBC tales? Well CRANFORD is for you. This film, featuring everyone you know from the BBC (Eileen Atkins, Judi Dench, Michael Gambon, Francesca Annis) is based on the books by Elizabeth Gaskell. Set in Victorian England in a small town that shuns progress but embraces etiquette and custom above all is heartwarming, touching, and just one hell of a great ride. Everyon gossips about everyone else, plots are schemed and unraveled. However, CRANFORD is rattled and on the cusp unwanted of change.

JAMES DEAN stars James Franco as the enigmatic star. While Franco looks astoundingly like Dean, unfortunately this biopic gets the standard Hollywood Treatment, and is far from exciting. Dean comes off as a crashing bore!!! I tried to sit through this thing THREE TIMES, but fell asleep by the end of Act One. What a waste.

Come and check into HOLLYWOOD HOTEL!!! One of those Busby Berkeley directed bits of joyous nothing. Featuring the ever portly Louella Parson, Dick Powell, Benny Goodman, this little gem about a spoiled, petulant star (Lola Lane) who refuses to go to her own Premier. What to do?! Well, find a look-a-like!!! And the fun begins. Dick Powell croons, Benny Goodman blows, and Parsons sits around coyly, batting her false eyelashes. It's an all star blowout, and a hell of a good time.

Feel like a good box of Kleenex New York Saga?! Well, BELLA will take you there. This non linear flick features great performances by Tammy Blanchard and some delicious Latin Hunk. I won't even go into the plot, but I was bawling with tears of joy and exasperation. Decisions to be made, love to follow. Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful.

Well, this is another joyful weepie. DEAR FRANKIE, a tale about a deaf boy who writes his ship mate father, gets news back from ports all over the world. But Frankie's mother (EMILY MORTIMER) has a secret: The letters are written by her. When Frankie's dad's ship comes to port, Mother is in a quandary. But she hires a stand in (a scrumptious Gerard Butler) to play the part of sailor. This film is a delight, and Frankie is clever and witty. Another three hankie, feel good movie.

JAYNE MANSFIELD!!!

2009-09-01T06:22:00.000-07:00

Oh Jayne, Jayne, Jayne. We hardly knew ye, but you left an indelible mark on our psyche. Even if your grave is forever vandalized (some people have no respect), I know where you're buried, and visit you whenever I get to the HOLLYWOOD MEMORIAL PARK AND CEMETARY. Or. As some enterprising faggots now call it: HOLLYWOOD FOREVER. I visit you as I do so many of my other friends....Douglas Fairbanks, Tyrone Power, Clifton Webb, Janet Gaynor, Adrian. Oh, I know where all of you are.

Here are some fun clips of Miss Mansfield in her heyday.

IT'S ALL ABOUT ANDRE LEON TALLEY!!!

2009-08-31T10:44:00.000-07:00

DIANA VREELAND ASKS:

WHERE IS THE RED?!!!

Can't wait for THE SEPTEMBER ISSUE!

QUENTIN CRISP!!!!

2009-08-30T23:31:00.000-07:00

THIS GENTLEMAN GAVE ME TWO OF THE GREATEST GIFTS AN ASPIRING WRITER COULD ASK FOR:

A BLURB FOR A BOOK COVER

AND

SOON AFTER

A PERSONALLY SIGNED COPY OF

THE NAKED CIVIL SERVANT

THEN HE DIED.

I'M EVER GRATEFUL.

Watch the following brief documentary, filmed shortly after the publication of this heroes memoir.

THINGS YOU ALREADY KNOW ARE GREAT!!!

2009-08-16T17:16:00.000-07:00

REVISITING STUFF YOU ALREADY KNEW WAS GOOD!!!

I have to tell you. I just got DSL online service, and it is the BEST THING EVER!!! I totally love it. And with NETFLIX, I can download bad mini-series (lookin' for LACE with Phoebe Cates? If nothing else, WHICH ONE OF YOU BITCHES IS MY MOTHER is on You Tube), documentaries, musicals. Even Malcolm McDowell's tour de force in that flick directed by...umm...ohhh....The fellow who directed 2001. It has a name and you know it. Leave me alone.

SWING SHIFT, with a stunning cast of actors including Goldie Hawn, Kurt Russell, Christine Lahti, Ed something really hot and hairy, a dwarf takes you right back to the good old days when men were scarce and women had rivet guns. I saw it in the theater when I was just a wee one, well, maybe not as wee as ye can be, but I have not seen it since. Goldie does an amazing Kate Hudson impersonation. Kurt Russell. Yummy. Lahti. Absolutely off the stage. Long an lithe, she's brilliant. The dwarf? Perfectly cast. The long gone Ambassador makes a cameo. 5 stars.

Needing to take in some NATASHA RICHARDSON (I had to....you know), one sat through WIDOW'S PEAK. Featuring such reviled stars as Dame (I stole away Vivien Leigh's husband) Joan Plowright and the long suffering Mia Farrow, Jim Broadbent and fun stock costumes of the period, this little thing takes place in Ireland. And you KNOW just how much I want to go THERE. Think Daffy Dames in the middle of nowhere having to deal with a wacky American. Stars? 3.5

TO DIE FOR. Nifty flick with Nicole Kidman doing a wicked Meg Ryan. There's some swarthy guy from Long Island starring as her soon to be dead hubby. I liked it. 3 stars.

I'd just made a pot of Lentil Ham Soup, and decided to sit down to THE EXORCIST. Very well acted, very well directed tons of bumps in the night and other drama. The next time I will eat a chicken sandwich. 3.75 stars.

WHY IN THE HELL ARE GAY MOVIES SO BAD!!!

2009-08-01T19:18:00.000-07:00

Let's face it. Gay movies suck canal water. Like bottom feeders (read: catfish) they just suck mud. THE BOYS IN THE BAND, quintessential fag flick; DORIAN BLUES? Great coming of age flick. What about BIG EDEN? Two old faggots finding love? Well, not that old, but middle aged, with middle aged bodies. Great. But I don't even TRY to relate to these twinks in the moderne mode.

FAQS suffers from too much canoodling betwixt the candy, and far less from the gun toting fabulon, DESTINY, who carries a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiig gun, helping homeless homos on the run in WEHO, Unfortunately, the trannie scenes are too few, and the B Homos too much. The usual gratutious nudity here, but once the gay basher comes out as a fag, you really wish he would have shot himself.

These fags would be dead in BOYS IN THE BAND. By their own hand.

BIG EDEN is great because the performs are faboo! You gotta love "em! Stage Actors Abound!!!

Dolly Parton cooked up a song for this!!!

The WORST of FAG FILMS?

MAKING LOVE is truly awful. Kate JACKSON?! I mean, for real.

But here is absolutely awesome!!! Steve Buscemi in his breakout role!!!

Starring opposite some guy I slept with in WEHO.

Oh, Dear.

Well, daaaaaaahlings.

I've shared enough.

Tootles!!!

MILLIE PERKINS!!!

2009-07-27T15:45:00.000-07:00

MILLIE PERKINS, former model turned AMAZING actress stars in THE DIARY OF ANNE FRANK. Her turn as Anne is nothing short of astounding. But she's surrounded by an impeccable cast, including DIANE BAKER, ED WYNN, JOSEPH SCHILDKRAUT, (who played papa on stage), LOU JACOBI and my personal fave SHELLEY (ALSO KNOWN AS SHIRLEY) WINTERS, who did away with her open mouthed smile that she and MARILYN! devised when they were roommates. 300 years ago. Directed by George (GIANT) Stevens, this tale is simply amazing. RICHARD BEYMER is luscious as the boy with the cat MOUSCHI. Now, my cat GUS looks a hell of a lot like Mouschi, so now he's MOUSCHI GUS. He loves it. I had never been able to sit through this flick...I already knew the story...but the production is first class, and the special features are out of this world. The supporting cast is superlative. It's a long haul, but the intermission midway is a great pee/sandwich/cocktail break. I honestly cannot believe I've never seen this treasure, considering my love for all things WWII.

POTPOURRI!!!

2009-07-12T15:50:00.000-07:00

WELL, HERE GOES. MY FIRST REAL POST ON NETFLIX QUICK PIX!!!

GLEN FORD and the fabulous GLORIA GRAHAME star in THE BIG HEAT. Wow. If you want hard boiled cop and hard boiled moll, you got it in this one. Ford is Police Sargent Bannion, investigating a the suicide of a fellow cop. But somehow, he knows something STINKS. What are the Police Chief's connection to organized crime, including cold-blooded henchman Vince Stone (Lee Marvin) and his goil, bejeweled glamour gal Debby (Grahame). Debby sets her sights on Bannion, Stone disfigures her lovely face, and in revenge, Debby tells all. Ford is as Ford does. A very sevicable actor. Marvin is great when he's pissed, and Grahame is probably on of the finest molls ever. Tragically, she died at 57, after being diagnosed with stomach cancer, which she disbelieved. Talk about DENIAL. She collapsed while rehearsing a play in London. Also in cast: Jocelyn Brando (yeah, Marlon's sister) and a fleeting glimpse of Caroline Jones. Not quite Noir, but Noiresque.

WILDE stars really homely actor STEPHEN FRY as really homely homo OSCAR WILDE. Wilde, famed for his witty plays, and, well, wit in suppressed Victorian England. But he got away with fey. I mean, have you ever met a Brit that couldn't be buggered? JUDE LAW is the lovely Lord Alfred Douglas, who becomes Wilde's downfall. From a nutzo family, "Bosie" didn't understand discretion, and his whacked out father The Marquess of Queensberry (a VERY effective Tom Wilkinson) has a hard on for Wilde. A big one. Ultimately Oscar went to prison, and came back a broken man. Vanessa Redgrave is wonderful as Oscar's WILD, artistic mum. Can you say BOHEMIAN?! Fry is perfectly cast. You know the story. You remember the plays and bon mots, but it's still a blast to watch.

Speaking of trash: CONNIE STEVENS stars in SUSAN SLADE. Never much of an actress, Steven and her horrid hair get involved with a wealthy mountain climber (fetching Grant Nobody) on a ship, and he knocks her up! Egad! The only thing to do is rush off to South America, only to return with a baby that mother DOROTHY MCGUIRE swears is her own. But when the baby catches fire, Stevens fesses up, losing the love of Burt Convey and his mother NATALIE SHAFFER, playing the same role she always does. But poor writer TROY DONOHUE (WRITER?!) doesn't care, and all ends in the way it should. Delmer Daves directed this Technicolor schlock, and there's so much Vaseline on the lens, you can barely see a thing. Stevens, who resembles perky Debbie Reynolds, ironically went on to marry Reynold's ex, the deplorable guy who ditched her to make it with Liz Taylor, only to lose her to Richard Burton. Sometimes real life is better than reel life.

Spike Lee directs the epic documentary WHEN THE LEVEES BROKE, chronicling the before and aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. This film is heart breaking, thought provoking, and infuriating because after all these years, you KNOW New Orleans is a mess. FEMA spends 7million to build WAREHOUSES?! Where are the homes? Families displaced, and the levees still in rubble. Then there's good old BUSH II, flying over head surveying the damage in his big RV of the sky. This film is compelling. Kudos to Lee for making this. It's brilliant.

RICH AND FAMOUS is not brilliant. CANDICE BERGEN and JACQUELINE BISSET star in this George Cukor directed disaster. Bisset can seemingly act, but BERGEN! She's simply awful. Her put on Southern Accent is deplorable, and, to be perfectly frank, she is ugly as hell. Like a really rigid Barbie. Her look is icy. Thank goodness she made a name for herself years later, when all those hard angles that make up her face softened in that TV show that was so popular. Meg Ryan co-stars as Murphy's (err, Bergen's) daughter. Standard hunks of the early '80s show up, including Hart Bochner and Matt Latanzie. Sadly, this was Cukor's swan song, but his talent for directing is clearly diminished by fossilism. And a horrid script based on the Bette Davis film, OLD ACQUAINTANCE. See the original, and ditch this bitch.

A gem from Down Under, KENNY. SHAYNE JACOBSON plays a "porta-loo" delivery man. Oh, there's plenty o'poo jokes and the like, but Jacobson shines. He's a bloke with heart. Just like a big kid. His wonderful scenes in Nashville (which hosts a poo party yearly) show Kenny as the innocent he is. This mockumentary was hugely poopular in Australia, and considering it's teeny budget, you come out with a smile on your face. Which is quite something for ME to say.

TIM CURRY stars in WILL SHAKESPEARE. This BBC mini-series follows Will around as a young, undiscovered writer. If you can get through all the "thees, thous and thines" you'll find it interesting. If not, leave it out of you queue.

GENE TIERNEY!!!

2009-06-10T13:18:00.001-07:00

After finishing Gene Tierney's frank and poignant memoir SELF PORTRAIT, I set about watching her flix. Her biography reads like a movie: Her lavish lifestyle as a young girl; Boarding School in Lusanne, Switzerland; Her early success as model and Broadway Actress; Her catapult to Film Stardom; Her tumultuous marriage to Count Oleg Cassini; The thieving father who plundered her bank account; The birth of a severely retarded and deaf daughter; The affair with Aly Kahn (who didn't have one with him back then?); And, ultimately, her very distressing bouts of the wackos! I could NOT put the darn thing down! Though not as good as RSVP by star-fucking gas bag Elsa Maxwell, it still made me wonder WHY nobody has ever made a bio-pic about Tierney? She really was the prototype for Grace Kelly, what with her elegant speech and swell carriage.

Here are few of her best:

In LEAVE HER TO HEAVEN, Tierney plays the ultimate in Deadly Jealous Wives. As Ellen Berent Harland, Tierney lights up a blazingly Technicolor screen. Cornell Wilde is her loving but confused (and very stiff) husband, Darryl Hickman, Wilde's younger polio stricken brother, Jeanne Craine, the long suffering younger cousin to Ellen. No one is spared Ellen's wrath. I LOVE her! Everything she wears is MONOGRAMED!!! Tierney was nominated for an Oscar, but lost to Joan Crawford, who could have played this role were she only 15 years younger.